One Step Back

[Flash game: Play here]

Yes, it’s another flash game. Until I get a better grasp of the psychology of gaming, these will be my… “Practices,” so to speak. I am not being too critical of games yet, because I am not yet knowledgeable enough to know what is and isn’t good. Right now, I only know what is good. Once I have a solid definition of this, I will begin pointing out what isn’t good. Until then, it will appear as if I love every game, which is true enough. If I didn’t love it, I wouldn’t write about it. Anyway, it’s playable here, if it interests you.

This game is built around a lifestyle that all of us have experienced. In everyone’s life, people go through a phase of ‘attempted perfection.’ We all have at least one point in our lives where we will avoid making mistakes, doing everything we can to be loved, fearing things that could put this acceptance in jeopardy. We fear mistakes, shy away from past errors, and run from things that have harmed us in prior times.

This phase lasts different amounts of time for different people, but sooner or later, we will all realize that running is not the answer, that imperfection is natural, and trying to attain perfection isn’t. We will learn that mistakes make us who we are, teach us how to live life, and, if we wish to proceed into the future, we must first come to terms with our past.

For me, I’m somewhere in-between. I strive for perfection, but not by avoiding mistakes. I have recently learned, and attempted to mend my past. Some of it was a success; other parts will forever be lost. I need to learn to accept that I am no longer in control of the things we have already done. Every action has a consequence, and, good or bad, and we need to be prepared to live with it. I believe that everyone passes through this middle-ground on the path to self-discovery.

One Step Back puts these life lessons into such a vivid illustration that it is hard to ignore the message. The between-level dialogue states the typical, ignorant perceptions of a person living a life of attempted perfection, and perfectly so. It expresses delusions such as “there isn’t enough time”, “fame and money are everything”, “the past is a thing to be feared,” and so on. All of it is agreeable, in the sense that we have all passed through this point in life, or are at this point in life, or acknowledge that this point in life exists.

The levels start out simply, and the goal is kept simple: Get from point A to point B without running into your past selves. “Avoid your past.” Contact with a past self results in restarting the level, so it becomes very clear that the past is bad. The first few stages are easy, as they are practically straight lines, and you never even have to turn to face your past. Some events in life are like this. Do something fairly simple, ignore the consequences, and never look back. After you pass the halfway point, the goal switches from the ‘attempted perfection’ phase of life to the realization that follows, and the goal changes to collecting your past, not letting any of them escape you. In these simple levels, or simple scenarios in life, there is no problem. Just walk backwards, from point B to point A, and you’ve succeeded quite easily. These actions in life don’t require any consequential negativity, no guilt, no sorrow or anger. There are simple actions that were meaningless in this context.

But the levels get harder. In the later ones, it becomes quite difficult to get from point A to point B, and doing so without confronting your past becomes so difficult that it results in radical, often playability-reducing actions during the second half. In life, when dealing with more delicate or life-changing actions, we will do anything to avoid a past mistake, and it becomes very easy to make new ones, worse ones, that we will never be able to live down. By trying to live a more perfect life, we make things worse. Looking back on the situation, we recognize the irreversible damage we have caused, and it requires immense willpower and mental endurance to move past it. Our biggest mistake in life is avoiding mistakes.

As the player progresses backwards through the levels, confronting all the past errors of life, they get easier and easier, as the more difficult mistakes are repented. As we come to terms with what we’ve done, the mistakes we’ve made, we come to realize that the past is something not to be feared, but cherished. It makes us who we are, and who we were becomes irrelevant. Once we realize this, we gain an open mind about our past, acknowledge it as what it is/was, and can easily move on into the future.

This game’s beauty comes from its simple, but necessary message, made more powerful by the simple, yet friendly music, the simple gameplay, the simple mechanics of the interface. In this way, it delivers a second, more obscure message, which I believe everyone needs to know: Life is simple. What makes it seem so complicated and menacing is the fact that we are all trying to avoid confrontation with our pasts, and, like in the game, make radical, complicated, and downright stupid actions just to avoid. If we let what has happened, just happen, then we will see that the path from point A to point B is really quite linear. The final line of the game wraps it all up very nicely: “I beg to differ when people say you can’t escape your past. You can… I just won’t.”